Cry Cry Cry

I had a good cry last night. I mean one of those big, torrential, cathartic ones, where you are sobbing and pouring and you end up swollen, blocked and sore. I don't think I had a specific reason; there were a few things built up, people to think about, but I just think I needed it. I felt so good afterwards, like I had let everything out. It also made me thankful and so happy about everything I have; that I am so fortunate in terms of my life, what I'm doing, and my relationships. In that sense it caused me to feel traces of guilt for breaking down when I am so lucky and happy generally. I don't know how to explain it, you just need a good cry now and then. And it's good if you have someone to talk to.

A Selections of Pictures From Our Trip

I decided to put these up as a new blog post. Enjoy!

At the treetop walk - the photos are sort of in reverse order.

One of our last stops before going back to Perth.

At the Gap and the Natural Bridge.

Dave and I in Albany. Some nice German tourists took the picture for us!

Dave in front of our Motel in Albany.

Drivin'.

Part of Baudin Heights.

On the beach in Bunbury.

Margaret River and Beyond

Bunbury was fun. And more excitement was coming up! Monday, early afternoon, Dave and I packed up and headed for Margaret River. We were staying at a place called Baudin Heights. It was beautiful. It had a high view, overlooking the ocean either from inside through big bay windows, or from the deck. It had a lovely bedroom, an amazing kitchen with loads of workspace, a dining room with a table that seated 10, a lounge room with plush couches and a big flatscreen TV and an ensuite with a jacuzzi. Score! We stayed 3 nights, and didn't want to leave! During our time in Margaret River we drove round, saw some beautiful beaches, visited wineries, a berry farm, had picnics, watched movies and even played Celebrity Heads. Dave made a delicious roast on our second night.

Thursday was the day to go to Albany. The drive took a lot longer than we thought, but we had fun. We saw some real emus in the wild!!!! Amazing. We stopped off at some beaches, made friends with a friendly, funny looking little dog and stopped off at a distillery that had all sorts of great stuff - we got a bottle of chocolate vodka. We visited the Gloucester Tree, It's about 60 metres from the ground and you can climb it, by going to the steel ladder that goes around the tree to the top. Dave did it. I chickened out after climbing the first 10 pegs or so. It was so terrifying, I was actually worried about Dave up there!

We stayed at the Frederickson Motel in Albany. Our motel room was great. Nice, comfy bed, big TV, simple stuff, but really nice. I think the bed was actually more comfortable there than at Baudin Heights. Our first night we went out to an Italian place and had a really nice meal and then went back to the motel. The next day we went for a walk up to this incredible view. At first to our disappointment it was rainy and foggy, but it cleared up and there were so many fantastic rainbows in the sky. We went for a walk down a trail in the woods, and into town. Albany is a small place, and everyone is friendly. we had a look around town, and while we were in Albany we saw some exceptional things - there was the gap, the natural bridge and although it may not sound so exciting, a wind farm. You really had to be there to experience the eerie, almost foreboding sound that came out of the wind farm. The second night there we went to Rustlers steak house and had the best steak I think I've ever had - then, off to the pub/brewery for some drinks and music. When the pub closed, we went to the after hours club and then fell into bed. On the Saturday we took a drive to the Valley of the Giants, where there is a walk in the treetops, about 40 metres up. It's fantastic.

Holiday! Celebrate!

As of Friday, Dave and I are officially on holiday! Not to sound whiny, but this time around I really need it. Between reports being due, the kids being over it and being sick, I'm glad the term is finished.

Friday was a really fun day at school. La Salle College has an annual day for something they call STOMP. All the kids dress up according to the theme of the day, and perform acts in a sort of variety show for the last half of the day. This year the theme was "movies". I went as Elle Driver from "Kill Bill", which was pretty fun. The kids really put a lot of effort into their costumes, it was great. A couple of the kids in my year 10 class thanked me for a "great semester" as well, which made me really happy!

Friday night Dave's parents came to Perth, they're on holiday too, and left for Melbourne on Saturday afternoon. We went to one of our favourite local restaurants, Koinonia, and then went to see a movie at the Astor, which was an RTR event. The movie was about air drumming, it was really different!

Saturday morning was exciting for me, because I went to get a haircut at Museo, a place I'd never been before. Because of a traumatic experience with a hairdresser as a young teen in which my hair ended up looking like a lampshade complete with awful curly bangs, I am always wary of having my hair cut. The girl who did my hair was called Narelle, and she was fantastic! She was friendly, listened to what I had in mind, gave me hair tips, and took my lifestyle into consideration in terms of the cut she gave me. I love the haircut! it's just below my shoulders, layered, with a sideswept fringe that's shorter than what I usua;lly get, and just what I had in mind!

When I got back, Dave and I got ready to go to Bunbury, which is where we are now. Last night we had a lovely dinner at a Thai restaurant, and then went out for drinks at the pub, where a band was playing. The band was a duet, they played covers, and they were really enjoyable to watch. Dave and I were having so much fun that we had a drink or two too many...! I think I dodged a pretty bad hangover today. Dave and I started the day off by watching "Elizabeth". It was a beautiful sunny day, rare for July. We went for a walk into town and on the beach, it was beautiful! Tonight we had Joe's pizza and watched "Gran Torino", which was surprisingly really good, and "He's Just Not That Into You", which was surprisingly bad.

Tomorrow we're off to Margaret River for a few days, then Albany. Can't wait!

Home Is Where the Heart Is...

I spend a lot of time thinking about Montreal. About everyone who is there now, about people who might be visiting and when. About the small possibility of living there again someday. Mostly, about when I can go next.  Now, most of wanting to go is because I miss people and want to see them. However, there is another component to my constant preoccupation, and that is guilt. My cousin just announced that he got married. He was my best friend as a teenager, and into my twenties. I never even heard from him about being engaged. I heard about his new marriage on Facebook, and it kind of crushed me. 

It's undeniable that I'm far away, and I have a persistent feeling that I'm missing things. And I can't help it. I made a decision to live here at a time in my life where I think that was right, a time where I should have made a change, experienced some new things. This is all very logical. Emotions, irrational or not, don't respond to logic very well unfortunately. The result? Wanting to be in two places at once, which is impossible. Feeling that I'm not doing a good enough job for people on either side of the world, which is frustrating and exhausting. I know, at least I hope, that the people I love on the other side of the world don't hold my decisions against me, and that all of this is coming from me. I think about all the turmoil that goes on in my head and my heart and it makes me feel helpless. And then, there's the other part of me, and that's the part of me that's...Not angry, maybe indignant. That besides my parents, who have done so much to support me and see me in Montreal, nobody has put any plans in motion to come visit me. I know in a lot of cases, that's probably not fair. But like I said, rationality and emotion are often at odds with one another in my life.

It's taken almost three years, and I have always liked it here, but now I finally feel like I have a real life here, and I'm happy. I've got a 'real' job, one that I can't just run out on anytime, teaching high school. Instead of making myself as scarce as possible socially, I am organizing nights out and get-togethers. I played social soccer. I think I've joined a band!  I think a part of me resisted a lot of that, almost as if I was being unfaithful to my other friends, to my family, if I got too involved here. And once I settled here, it was like there would be no way to turn back. I guess I know now that it's not necessarily so cut and dry. Dave and I are a team. We could move back to Canada. We could stay here. But we have to be together and sure about what we do. I don't have any regrets, although I wish it was easier, that I didn't always see time flying by, and see life as a constant decision. I'm not so sure about what triggered this train of thought here. Maybe it's always an underlying current in my thoughts.

Two Weeks To Go!

Last week. It just dragged and dragged. Even though I wasn't even at work on Monday because I was sick, it was still a long, long week. Reports are due, and I need to write heaps of comments. Almost done! The kids are getting really restless - they are over it. The year 10s have had their big exams, then went off to a week of work experience. They were really unmotivated when they came back to school.  The year 11s had two weeks of exams where they had no classes. They are also annoyed with being back at school, and they are already apathetic as it is! Year 8s have been fine. Hopefully the atmosphere will be better next week. If I hear "Can we just do nothing today, Miss?" one more time...grrrrrrr!

Dave's done week 1 of his second prac, and he's doing really well. He had a surprise when he arrived Monday morning - his mentor teacher's father had passed away, and under the sad circumstances, she was going to be away for the week. Dave took all the classes, and really took control of the situation instead of doing what I think many people would do, which is panicking, calling the uni/prac coordinators saying they can't deal with it and/or demanding a change, or just getting a relief teacher in and sitting around all week. I was so proud of Dave.

Dave and I were considering going to Vietnam for the holidays, but have decided to stay in WA instead, and have a relaxing holiday down south. We're going to do Vietnam when we've planned it better, and hopefully travel from Hanoi down to Bangkok in Thailand for a few weeks. I'm looking forward to our holiday - we'll be celebrating our 4-year anniversary, which is fantastic.

Weekend was good! Friday night Dave and I went for dinner at Richard and Ash's place.  They're really great, it was cool to be able to spend some time with them.  Ash made a delicious lasagna, garlic bread and salad. We had some wine and I made white chocolate and honeycomb mousse for dessert. On Saturday Dave and I hung out, watched a DVD, Dave did some work on his music, I played some piano and did some cleaning; our bathroom was out of control! We went out for a delectable Japanese dinner at Yuzu right across the street and then we got ready and went to the upstairs bit at the Flying Scotsman - we had a 2-hour DJ set, wooohoooo! I think we played a really good set - lots of rock and roll, people dancing, no moments where the songs you've chosen just doesn't work. Dave and I take turns, we go song for song, it's really a great time. I look forward to the next time we're there, it's in a couple of weeks. Hopefully we can get some of our friends down for that one.

Oh, I'm not ready for a new week. But it's going to happen whether I like it or not!

I forgot about this!

This is such a bizarre video. And Ivan Rebroff is the soundtrack! Check it out.

http://rathergood.com/vid